Hi friends,
I’m finally writing to you as a college graduate, and it still feels surreal despite being several weeks post-grad. I had hoped that school ending would bring with it an immense sigh of relief - the type of peace that I think my family and friends are feeling on my behalf. Instead, everything seems to be speeding up.
For all we throw around the phrase burnout, I think it can be difficult to recognize before it’s too late. When we’re all running on steam, it’s easy to fall into the habit of working with all cylinders firing, all the time. At some point, we’re bound to slow down, if not break entirely.
I have broken, in the most boring ways possible.
I’ve missed watching games I was excited about to work. I’ve put off scheduling plans with friends to work. I’ve forgotten to respond to text messages, I haven’t written a thing, I barely remember how to pick up a book, and I haven’t had it in me to open Finch and do my silly little self care tasks. I, as a disabled person reliant on monthly medications to survive, went uninsured for a month because I couldn’t find the energy to sit down at the computer and complete health insurance paperwork.
(I am insured as of June 1st, shoutout Minnesota health care.)
Sometimes, I wait for a big break. I wait until I’m lying on the floor sobbing or no longer sleeping through the night. This time, I’m not doing that.
In an effort to take one thing off of my plate, I’m pausing paid subscriptions. I’m not sure what the next few months will look like. I’m itching to get back to writing regularly, to finish editing the drafts sitting in the back of my brain, but I think to do that, I need to give myself time and space to just be a human.
Before I go, some things you might have missed over the last couple months:
What I’ve Read:
Beach Read by Emily Henry: Em Hen is two for two on making me cry while reading romance novels, and that’s a skill I admire. Loved the Michigan setting and really enjoyed, but Book Lovers remains my favorite of hers
You Didn’t Hear This From Me by Kelsey McKinney: a must listen for fans of Normal Gossip! I absolutely tore through the audiobook
The White Book by Han Kang: beautiful, poetic, lyrical writing, but ultimately I didn’t connect with it in a memorable way. I think that as I read more of Kang’s backlist, I’ll revisit to really sink into the words
What I’ve Watched:
Miracle: a rewatch. A perfect movie to cry over, to ignite a spark of hope, to remember the power of the underdog story. A must watch, at least once
I Used to Be Funny: Immaculate soundtrack, immaculate acting, one of the most real and honest depictions of PTSD post-sexual assault that I’ve seen
One of Them Days: a delightful romp of a buddy comedy feat. the iconic duo of SZA and Keke Palmer
What I’ve Listened to:
Young Miko: I’m currently obsessed with this Puerto Rican rapper. “Wassup” and “Princess Peach” are my favorites at the moment
What I’m Excited for:
A cross country roadtrip full of national park stops to move my little brother to San Diego for a summer internship
Reuniting with a whole gaggle of friends to celebrate a wedding at the end of June
My summer reading challenge! I’m just excited to rediscover my love for reading, no strings attached and no homework looming
Happy summer, baby oak trees. Read some books, touch some grass, soak up some sun, and take some deep breaths.