February Wrapped

are we sure it's March tomorrow?

Every month that passes brings with it a creeping anxiety. My brain feels like a simmering pot, minutes - or seconds? - from boiling over. Yes, it’s the government and the state of the world, but it’s also the knowledge that with my 26th birthday in April, I’ll lose my health insurance, and in May, I’ll graduate, and I still don’t have plans for what I’ll be doing after both of those things happen.

I have always found it comforting knowing that other people are taking life day by day, uncertain of what the future holds. It’s okay to not have answers, or at least, it has to be.

Instead of panicking about the upcoming months, here are all of the things I loved this month.

Reading

• Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar: loved, loved, loved. Read my review here. Perfect for fans of sad lit fic and novels written by poets.

• Beyond Survival by Ejeris Dixon and Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha: a hopeful, motivating audiobook on transformative justice. It built a strong foundation that I want to keep building off of.

• How the Boogeyman Became a Poet by Tony Keith Jr.: this YA memoir has an audiobook production that added so much depth. It’s a powerful coming of age story written by a queer Black poet that I’m excited to recommend to patrons at work!

• The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin: everything James Baldwin writes is worth reading.

  “I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” - James Baldwin

• Lunar Boy by Cin and Jes Wibowo: a delightful, whimsically illustrated middle grade trans and queer graphic novel about community, grief, and finding one’s place in society

• The Deep Dark by Molly Knox Ostertag: another graphic novel, this one YA with an edge of horror. It follows a butch Latinx lesbian (more butch representation please) and her trans childhood best friend and love interest as they cope with the manifestation of generational trauma.

• Go Ahead in the Rain: Notes to a Tribe Called Quest by Hanif Abdurraqib: I feel confident that I will want every book Hanif Abdurraqib writes on my shelves for the rest of my life. This audiobook inspired a Spotify deep dive and a little musical education.

• Chain Gain All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah: hey, so this wrecked me! A book so deeply worthy of every single rave review. Unsettling, forceful, and memorable. An absolute must read and an instant favorite.

Image Description: a pie chart of February’s reading moods from Storygraph. The three largest sections are reflective, emotional, and dark - indicative of my mood, surely. Other moods, in order from largest to smallest slices of remaining pie, are informative, challenging, tense, mysterious, inspiring, and hopeful.

Watching

• Ilana Glazer: Human Magic: I really wanted to love this. I adore Ilana - I think she’s hilarious, want to be her friend, and find Broad City so comforting. This special just didn’t work for me, because I don’t often love media/ storytelling that revolves around motherhood, childbirth, etc.

• The Hunger Games: a rewatch with my parents that surprised me. It has held up shockingly well and had me crying while itching for a reread.

• Sasheer Zamata: The First Woman: I fell in love with Sasheer while watching Agatha All Along this fall, and this special was a delight. Funny, well written, and memorable.

• Moonlight: An instant favorite and a movie worthy of all the accolades. Visually stunning with incredible storytelling and characterizations that hold all the tender nuance that humans deserve. Watching it felt like a small miracle.

• The Wild Robot: Cute cute cute! Warmed all of the tenderest parts of my heart with this delightful little found family.

• Pride & Prejudice: I’m a lesbian, but I am not infallible to the hand flex, you know? Classic, perfect enemies to lovers. I love the family, I love the romance, I love the score, I love this movie. Ultimate comfort.

Listening

• Sports Car by Tate McRae

• GIRLS! by Cat Burns

• Nissan Altima (but honestly anything) by Doechii

• Praying for Your Downfall by Jensen McRae (new album dropping April 25th!)

Cooking

Due to not yet fulfilling my dream role of trophy wife, I’ve been skipping the eggs on my grocery runs and focusing on long lasting produce and pantry staples, like carrots, potatoes, celery, and lentils.

In my first time cooking lentils, I made this vegetarian shepherd’s pie and was absolutely delighted by how comforting and delicious it was! I highly recommend.

Image Description: a cast iron skillet holding a shepherd’s pie sits on a granite countertop next to a white bowl with a scoop of the pie.

Self Caring

Finch, a silly little self care app, has changed my life. Nearly every day, I drink 64 oz. of water, am in bed by 10:00, stretch, do breathing exercises, and make time for things I enjoy. It’s free, and I can’t recommend it enough if you - like me - need a little external motivation (in the form of a cute bird you can dress up and name) to care for yourself.

Image Description: a graphic of my Finch bird, named Pumpkin, on a tan background. Pumpkin is light green with darker green wings and a pink beak and cheeks. They’re wearing brown overalls, an acorn hat, and holding a leaf. They have a pet cow next to them. Ridiculous and adorable.

In February, I also started volunteering at my local women’s shelter. Working at the library for the last two years has made me feel more engrained in my community, and I’ve been eager to do more. Doing new things can be intimidating (especially when you have an anxiety disorder) but I have consistently found that putting myself out there and doing what I know to be right always pays off. In this case, it resulted in spending my Valentine’s Day with some kids, dancing to Kidz Bop, scooping ice cream, and coloring. It was a highlight of my month. Get involved with your local community. I promise you won’t regret it.

Shopping

I spent far too much money at my favorite indie bookstore, Griot Arts! Support Black owned bookstores year round, folks!

A photo of the interior of Griot Arts, which has a sunshine yellow wall, two wicker chairs, a small shelf holding books for lending, and various frames on the wall. A sign hanging on the chairs reads ‘Joy is an act of resistance.’

*Bonus* Youth Services Library Employee Corner: Check out Andrea Beatriz Arango’s latest middle grade novel - It’s All or Nothing, Vale - for yourself or a kiddo in your life! It is a stunning novel in verse about fencing, burgeoning queerness, and learning to find pride in a new disability. Reading it brought tears to my eyes, and I would do anything to hand it to middle school Autumn.

Image Description: the book cover of It’s All or Nothing, Vale which has an illustration of Vale, a Puerto Rican middle school fencer with two long braids.

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As we move into this next month, I hope that you are balancing self care with action. It is vital to be kind to yourself, to rest, and to find joy. It is just as vital to take action, in whatever ways you can. Here are some potential, non-exhaustive action items:

• Download the 5 Calls app to easily contact your representatives. To combat phone anxiety, I recommend calling in the evening, when you will likely be able to leave a voicemail.

• Call Congress members at 866-426-2631 to advocate for maintaining Medicaid funding. If you can’t call, send an email!

• Research local to you organizations that need volunteers. Some examples may be:

  • Public libraries

  • Shelters for survivors of gender based violence or for the unhoused

  • Abortion and reproductive health care providers

  • Food banks

I’ll see you in March. Thank you for being here.